I know how it feels to weigh 328 pounds. And I know how it feels to lose more than half of that. But mostly, I get how complicated relationships with food can be, and how others who have never had this struggle often don’t get it. I am not saying that others are not sympathetic. But each one of us has to find a very personal solution and it is hard to navigate through that maze. We try fad diets, we try starving ourselves, we ask everyone we meet how they lose weight and we try that, and then, guess what? We may lose weight initially, but in the long run, it doesn’t work.
I am with you. I get it. And I feel your pain.
You know what one of my daydream solutions used to be? That I was rich and could hire someone to cook really healthy meals for me. Further, that person would follow me around all day to make sure I didn’t slip. Seemed like a great idea to me! But after I did lose my weight, two things occurred to me. First, this didn’t work for Oprah. And secondly, I realized with a jolt, that the solutions I was looking for were all extrinsic.
The only way to lose weight is to look inside, figure out why you are eating to comfort yourself, then put some strategies in place that work for you!
I cannot have white bread within 10 miles of me. I love it and will eat the whole loaf, no problem. Along with a pound of cheese. And butter. But, whole wheat, rye and spelt crackers are a good substitute - for me. I like them but I don’t love them. So I don’t binge on them. Or the low fat cheese I have found. Or the 60% fat reduced margarine. Instead of denying myself, I have found substitutes I am ok with.
When people used to say to me: “Why don’t you just have one piece?” I would think, because I can’t stop there. I would rather not start. That is easier for me. We all need to figure out our own strategies. That is what losing weight is really about.
Write down what foods you binge on. Is there a certain time of day that this happens? Or certain circumstances? Leave behaving on automatic pilot behind you and start to THINK about what you are doing. Not in a “what a bad girl/boy/I hate myself/glutton” way, but in a productive, positive “how can I leave this behaviour behind me in a way that works for me?” way. That road leads to acceptance, enlightenment and the good health we all deserve.
You need to be kind to yourself, above all. Our challenges with weight also involve genetic predisposition to weight gain, as well as body type. We can’t do anything about those things other than recognize them and realize that our challenge on the road to good health is that much harder.
And that much sweeter when we arrive.